Friday, July 29, 2011

"What I feel for you is contempt. But it's nothing compare to the contempt I feel for myself. I don't love you. I've never loved anyone. I wanted you from the first moment i saw you. I wanted you as one wants a whore - for the same reason and purpose. I spent two years damming myself, because i thought you were above a desire of this kind. You're not. You're as vile an animal as I am. (...)Yesterday, I would have killed anyone who's tell me that you were capable of doing what I've had you do, Today, I would give my life not to let it be otherwise, not to have you be anything but the bitch you are. All the greatness that I saw in you - I would not take it in exchange for the obscenity of your talent at an animal's sensation of pleasure. We were two great beings, you and I, proud of our strength, weren't we? Well, this is all that's left of us - and I want no self-deception about it. (...)I held it as my honor that I would never need anyone. I need you. It had been my pride that I had always acted on my conviction. I've given in to desire which I despise. It is a desire that has reduced my mind, my will, my being, my power to exist into an abject dependence upon you - upon your body, your hands, your mouth, and the few seconds of convulsion of your muscles. (...) I want no pretense about love, value, loyalty or respect. I want no shred of honor left to us, to hide behind. I've never begged for mercy. I've chose to do this - and I'll take all the consequences, including the full recognition of my choice. It's depravity - and I accept it as such - and there is no height of virtue that I wouldn't give up for it. Now if you wish to slap my face, go ahead. I wish you would."
Ayn Rand

One of the most beautiful and sincere paragraphs ever written.